What Makes a Woman a "Slut"?

I think that this word is open to a number of subjective definitions.

Promiscuous: characterized by or involving indiscriminate mingling or association, esp. having sexual  relations with a number of partners on a casual basis. - Dictionary.com

Slut: a woman with the morals of a man

         

         A woman who sleeps with many men.

        The difference between a slut and a whore is a whore wants something in return, a  slut does it just because she likes it. - Urbandictionary.com

Surely, one cannot disagree that double standards exist between men and women in regards to perception of sexual behavior. In some of my favorite TV shows (Nip/Tuck, The Game, etc) the male characters have casual sex with a number of women frequently, because well, they "like it" and it makes them feel good. I imagine that some of the things that the producers discuss when writing these scenes go something like "He's a handsome bachelor, it's expected. This is the entertainment that the audience is looking for". But as soon as a woman who is not looking for a serious relationship dares so much as to pick up the phone to call Bobby who she met at the dinner party 2 weeks ago over for the sole purpose of satisfying her needs, her action is frowned upon. I too admit that I'm more likely to express distaste at a woman who is sleeping around rather than a man who is, because that's the way that society has programmed us to think.

 But really, if it's a numbers game, is there a certain number of sexual partners that a woman must have in order for her to be perceived as a slut? Or maybe it's having unprotected sex? Or maybe it's sleeping with a guy who she's only known for a week? Or maybe it's someone who charges for the cooch? Or maybe it's participating in a one night stand? Or maybe....

It's Like Virginity Is Some Kind Of Handicap...

"You're a virgin? wow, that's really hard to find these days"

That's the response I usually receive from a guy.

Or...

"So would you let me take it?"

This one is common too, only less frequent than the first.

The latter always upsets me. Obviously your recent discovery of my sexual status highlights the fact that you still have a lot to learn about me . Why would I let a guy who barely knows anything about me...my mind, my feelings & who I hardly know anything about, "take it"? Yes, it means that much to me, because it's a piece of my being that I can never get back, and carries significant consequences. Either the guy is highly egotistical, very ignorant, nonchalant about the matter, or simply does not place a high value on sex. I perceive it as more than just a physically pleasurable experience. To me, it's a union that connects two people emotionally, as well as physically. It's a mutual understanding, a deeper way to express your feelings for each other. So why fool, would I let you "take it"? That response is such a turn off & guarantees that you won't "take it".

Although I'm in no hurry to lose it, I  sometimes I feel like it acts as a barrier towards advancing my relationships with guys. Most of them I meet are usually pleased to hear that I'm a virgin. I used to think that it was a turn off, as it means that I'm inexperienced (Sometimes, it still is). Now, they commend me for it. Apparently, for the wrong reasons. I think it's because they want the title of "my first" for ego purposes. When I realize that a guy and I are developing feelings for each other, and/or we've gotten physical, I let him know "Look man, this is how it is and well, I don't know when I'm going to be ready..." & he says "It's okay. We don't have to have sex yet" Bullshit.

It's really hard to find a guy these days who is willing to wait for me. Truth is, I have to be reasonable and acknowledge the fact that if he's been sexually active for a while, it's going to be difficult for him to suppress that need. Unfortunately, his needs, impatience or frustration usually results in my heartbreak...