It's Like Virginity Is Some Kind Of Handicap...

"You're a virgin? wow, that's really hard to find these days"

That's the response I usually receive from a guy.

Or...

"So would you let me take it?"

This one is common too, only less frequent than the first.

The latter always upsets me. Obviously your recent discovery of my sexual status highlights the fact that you still have a lot to learn about me . Why would I let a guy who barely knows anything about me...my mind, my feelings & who I hardly know anything about, "take it"? Yes, it means that much to me, because it's a piece of my being that I can never get back, and carries significant consequences. Either the guy is highly egotistical, very ignorant, nonchalant about the matter, or simply does not place a high value on sex. I perceive it as more than just a physically pleasurable experience. To me, it's a union that connects two people emotionally, as well as physically. It's a mutual understanding, a deeper way to express your feelings for each other. So why fool, would I let you "take it"? That response is such a turn off & guarantees that you won't "take it".

Although I'm in no hurry to lose it, I  sometimes I feel like it acts as a barrier towards advancing my relationships with guys. Most of them I meet are usually pleased to hear that I'm a virgin. I used to think that it was a turn off, as it means that I'm inexperienced (Sometimes, it still is). Now, they commend me for it. Apparently, for the wrong reasons. I think it's because they want the title of "my first" for ego purposes. When I realize that a guy and I are developing feelings for each other, and/or we've gotten physical, I let him know "Look man, this is how it is and well, I don't know when I'm going to be ready..." & he says "It's okay. We don't have to have sex yet" Bullshit.

It's really hard to find a guy these days who is willing to wait for me. Truth is, I have to be reasonable and acknowledge the fact that if he's been sexually active for a while, it's going to be difficult for him to suppress that need. Unfortunately, his needs, impatience or frustration usually results in my heartbreak...