Nice Guy/Bad Guy

"All females like guys who treat them like shit". I cannot tell you how many times I've heard this claim, mostly from "nice guys" who have been rejected by a woman to pursue another man who doesn't treat her as well. I'm not going to say that this is entirely untrue simply because I am a female, but I do not agree that all females swoon at the sight of a "bad guy". However, it seems that most do. I speak from experience. Not with myself, but that of my female peers. I've spent a lot of time in my days comforting girlfriends who are broken up over their "ain't shit" boyfriends or love interests. They pour their hearts out to me about how they're so hurt by his lies, cheating, lack of attention, basically anything that suggests that he does not respect her. And while I always ask to hear the full story to avoid sounding like what society has dubbed the bitter, single friend, my reaction always seems to remain the same: why does she tolerate this kind of behavior? In effort to find some kind of explanation that will satisfy this question, I've come up with 4 possible reasons on my own.

(1) She's insecure: She doesn't think that she is worth more or deserves someone better, and so this guy is the best she can do. She might find herself flawed in some way and is afraid that if she leaves him, she won't be able to find someone else who will accept her or want to be with her...



(2) She believes that she can change him: A lot of women would take pride in being the one who made the playa "change the game"; the one who's got him so whipped that he has retired that little black book. It is definitely an ego boost and some women are willing to tolerate a lot if they feel that they have the potential to do this; that the satisfaction that they will feel after he has changed will be worth all the pain she's going through now.

(3) They have a lot of history together: It is very difficult to let go of someone who they've shared a lot of memories with (either good or bad) and who they've grown so comfortable being with. Sometimes they've been with this person for so long that they simply cannot imagine themselves being with someone else despite the fact that this person treats them badly. This fellow has had some a huge impact on her life and they've spent so much time together that the man has literally become part of her identity.

(4) She enjoys his unpredictable nature: I was debating as to whether or not I should add this to the list, and I've decided that this could very well be a reason. Some women find nice guys predictable, and quickly get bored in the relationship. A "bad guy" on the other hand, is full of surprises. You never know what he's going to do next. This type of person keeps them on their feet, and keeps the relationship interesting, whether good or bad.