Martha, the Housewife

They say "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Most would agree it's because men appreciate a good home cooked meal. But why is cooking him a meal considered a likely way to get his attention and boost the chance of him falling for you? I mean shoot, I love food too, but I don't put as much value on a guy cooking me dinner like he would on me doing the same for him. Is it because they naturally enjoy being catered to by the female, because of their experience in the womb? The first female to ever cook them a meal, wash their clothes, clean up after them, is usually the mother. Do most men unconsciously seek a life partner who can replace the role of their mother?

         Women like being taken care of financially. They seek security. Men enjoy being taken care of doemestically. Here's an example of what most men would want his domestic life to be like. He comes home to a clean house and a wife who is looking right. She serves him a good plate of food, asks him about his day, and gives him sex later that night. And there is nothing wrong with that, as long as he shows her that this is not all she's good for. He needs to show her that she is his partner, and not an ancessory. I mean real talk, the role of women hasn't really changed significantly since the 19th century. Sure, there are stay-at-home fathers today, and women are able to pursue their own careers. But even then, sometimes an independent woman is a worrysome to a man. My friend was saying that he appreciates an independent woman as long as she doesn't exclaim "I don't need you for anything. I make my own money. So if I were to leave you now, I'd be alright" Men claim they are looking for an independent woman, but many are threatened by that. Because they have BIG EGOS. They need to feel needed. Not wanted, needed >>>


Honestly, I couldn't see myself as homemaker. I want my own career. I don't ever want to depend on a man for anything.  Other females enjoy being housewives. They enjoy tending to the man and the kids. And there's nothing wrong with that either. It's a matter of "to each her own." Anytime that a guy indicates that my fate is being a housewife, I cringe.

• Example 1: I was chillin' with my friend at his new place and I notice that his floor is messy. I pick up his sweatshirt off the floor and asks "Why is this place so disorganized? You need to fix it up" He laughs and says "that's what you're there for" Excuse me? Maybe I should carry the bucket to the well and feed the chickens along the way too.

• Example 2: This morning I'm sleeping and another friend wakes me up. He's jokingly says "Yo wake up, wake up. What you sleeping for? You should be up cooking me breakfast" I reply "Shut up, I had a long day yesterday..classes and work" He replies "So?" Why is that? Just because I'm a female, I don't get tired from working hard? Shit, massage MY shoulders and make me some eggs.

                      My mother has said to me numerous times "Niku, don't you want to come into the kicthen to help me cook? What are you going to do when you get married? You have to cook for your husband. Come and learn how to do this & do that so that you can do it for him & your kids when you get married" And I understand that. I most definitely want to have a family one day, and would be happy to take care of them. But really mommy, my purpose in life is not to wait on a man hand and foot.