Listening to: Strength, Courage & Wisdom- India Arie.
You know, I've been doing a lot of reflection lately on life in general. I've always enjoyed my own company and find that when I'm alone, I tend to do a lot of deep-thinking. I wouldn't really call it meditating. Meditating to me is to be in an environment that is silent, relaxing, and will not easily distract me. I've yet to try meditating, but I plan to soon. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes-reflecting on life.
I've realized that the older I get, the more I really have to learn. My momma was right..I still have so much more to learn. And at 19, that is expected but I've come to realize that life is an ever-learning process. You never stop learning as long as you are living. I am a student in a huge classroom with billions of classmates, life is the teacher, and God is the supervisor. You don't really get recess or lunch breaks..there is something to be taught every step of the way. And homework to me is proving that you have learned something from the lessons life throws at you. Once you have learned how to walk through a certain path in life despite the gravel & pot holes that try to trip you up, you've graduated from one of life's intense lessons. But it is important to confront the supervisor (God) every step of the way to make sure that you are on the right path. Sometimes it may feel like you're walking through a maze-confused, tired, and frustrated, you feel like there's no way out. But once you seek God, he will hold your hand and lead you to that open door.
I do believe that my first year of college (my first year as a legal adult) has given me a perspective on life that I had never really had before. Maybe it's true what they say- the older you get, the wiser you become. But what about grown adults who continue to make the same mistakes? Do they not learn from the greatest teacher? - life. I guess that's where God comes in...to help us change ourselves for the better. But we must seek him first. The bible says "seek ye the Lord while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near" -- which brings me another thought.
I do not understand atheists. They seek facts instead of faith. Yet, there are so many things that science have yet to answer and only our faith in God will. How can someone claim to be an atheist if they do not seek God..if they do not give him a chance to reveal himself in their hearts? My pastor tends to tell a lot of stories while he preaches. My favorite would have to be the one where he was an atheist who sought the wisdom of scholars such as Plato for questions that he had trouble finding the answers to. One day, he sat in his college dorm and said "Lord, if you are real, come into my heart" He said from that moment, he became born again. That story fascinates me each time I hear it. In a matter of minutes, his whole life had changed.
I believe that God has a certain plan for me. One that I'm not sure of yet. I've always had that feeling ever since I was a little girl. What does he want from me? Maybe I will find out when I meditate. I do believe that I am destined for greatness. I am so full of potential, but I haven't been taking advantage of it all. I feel like I've cheated myself all this time. Quite frankly, sometimes I am afraid to ask him because I am afraid of the answer. What if he wants me to be something that I'm not too fond of or don't think I'm capable of doing? What if how Ive always pictured myself living is not how he wants me to live? Nevertheless, I need to find out what it is that God wants from me, discover what my talent really is, and WAKE UP and time to take control of my life. Yes, there are some things in life that you cannot change, but you can control how your future turns out. And I refuse to be any less than God chose for me to be. I will do great things. It starts now. GO!
God, Light, & Love.
-Niku.
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